How to Maximize your Therapy Experience

This fall marks 15 years of being in private practice. During this time, I have specialized in working with trauma, post-traumatic stress, developmental trauma, religious abuse, domestic violence, chronic pain, integration for ketamine therapy and plant medicine, and coming out as a neurodiverse psychotherapist.

Since my clients pay for therapy out of pocket, the financial investment is a huge consideration in knowing how often and for how long to attend therapy. While these decisions are yours to make as a client, I want to share how to maximize your therapy experience.

1. What are my therapy goals? Knowing your therapy goals is very helpful in finding a therapist who can help you meet your goals. If you are looking for symptom reduction, be specific in what symptoms you would like to see improved and what you would like to be experiencing instead. If you don’t know your goals, I usually ask clients in our phone intake before booking a first appointment. 

2. What am I willing to invest? Based on your therapy goals and the price of therapy, this may help you determine how much or how long to engage in treatment. Many clients desire to work with me but can’t afford the investment based on their goals. We can discuss finding a frequency or time frame to create positive momentum without financial stress. 

3. What are my support needs? It is best to consider more frequent sessions if your therapy goals connect to chronic symptoms or conditions. Weekly therapy is best for building positive rapport, consistency, and support if you want to work on the root causes of long-standing or cyclic challenges. Suppose you are looking for symptom reduction linked to a life transition, a supportive check-in, or a time-sensitive issue like integration therapy for plant medicine. In that case, we can arrange a short-term arrangement. 

4. What else do I want to know? Finding the right therapist may take time. I encourage clients to formulate questions to interview potential therapists regarding their specializations, their approach to personal growth, and communication preferences. After committing to a therapist, it can also be helpful to use the first 90 days as a trial period of noticing how you feel about your therapeutic experience and if it’s the right fit for you. Don’t hesitate to re-evaluate things and keep searching! 

If you are interested in working with me, please fill out my application here, or email me. I wish you well in your healing journey!

Deconstruction: Recovering from religious abuse

A new documentary is shining a light on religious abuse. Shiny Happy People: Duggard family secrets highlights a Christian organization (IBLP) perpetuating legalism and abuse. Coming from a religious background, I am familiar with the process of deconstruction. Deconstruction is a term that is often used by people who are exiting legalistic forms of Christianity. However, I like to use the term for anyone who is in the process of questioning, examining, and redefining what religion or spirituality means to them. This can especially be true for clients born into a religious group and learning to claim their own definition of spiritual practice.

While there is no set formula for deconstruction, having a compassionate witness is a great start. For many people in this process, just allowing themselves to question and process their upbringing within religion and their feelings about their experiences can be huge. A significant first step for individuals in high-control religion or cult-like environments is asking questions. Doing this in therapy can create space for an unbiased viewpoint.

As a form of relating and disclosure, I have done my own deconstruction from legalistic Christianity. My formal education in counseling was at a seminary, alongside people training to be pastors and missionaries. While the quality of my education was good, I have had to untangle the associations with belief structures being a part of the counseling process.

While I consider myself a spiritual person today, I also keep my mind and heart open to all expressions, even simply being present in this world. The present moment is all we have, and in exploring everything from atheism to new-age practices, I strive to be compassionately present in all I do.

Trauma therapy for religious abuse can encompass any or all modalities I have to offer, as our process is collaborative and flexible. If you are deconstructing and would like support, please fill out my application here or email me.

Gender-Affirming & Neurodiverse Mental Healthcare: an update

Last year, I wrote about inclusivity during Pride month, and also came out! This year, the timing of this post coincides with the national conversation around gender-affirming care. This access has been threatened for many people, including those in my state of Florida.

Since I identify as a neurodiverse queer person who is still learning how to present as an inclusive psychotherapist, I wanted to take some time to share a bit about how I am working on providing ongoing affirming care for my diverse clients.

First, a few disclaimers. I am a Caucasian female (she/they) who innately has privilege based on these two facts. I do not experience blatant discrimination based on my gender identification, sexual orientation, or race. Due to my economic privilege, I have found independent practitioners who provide gender and neurodiverse healthcare.

During our intake process, I will ask if you prefer any electronic forms to communicate any needs related to your mental health care. I usually gather this information in a conversational style so that you can disclose or withhold any information at your pace. However, some neurodiverse people prefer to communicate in writing, and you will have this option throughout our treatment.

In this ongoing relationship, I will be asking for any neurodiverse, cultural, gender, sexuality, or other considerations you would want me to know. Again, this information will also be available in written form. As we progress, I approach all therapeutic relationships with a sense of curiosity and a beginner’s mind. You are ultimately the expert on yourself, and if I don’t understand something, my neurodiverse brain will seek to understand by remaining open to you and your lived experience.

As your advocate, I have worked with clients with comorbid physical health issues that are often chronic and ongoing. I work hard to help my clients find local doctors, dentists, and bodyworkers who are considerate of chronic conditions. In this search, I am also looking for healthcare providers who listen and consider my clients neurodiverse and gender orientations as part of their ongoing care.

Despite my efforts to educate myself and remain curious and compassionate, I still make mistakes. Moving through the world as a queer or trans person often feels dangerous. I understand that paranoia is a natural byproduct of hate and discrimination. I also know that I may miss things, despite working on my blind spots and my innate privilege. I hope we work together with ongoing collaboration, curiosity, and grace.

Being proud of who we are is an innate right we all have as human beings. I am proud of my neurodiverse brain, my androgynous orientation to sexuality and gender, and my growing capacity for love in all forms. If you are interested in working with me, please fill out my application here or email me here.

Hiring a Neurodiverse Therapist

Earlier this year, I underwent psychological testing and discovered I am on the autism spectrum. This realization has led to a lot of reflection around how I show up as a human and a psychotherapist. I wanted to share a few of these realizations, for those of you who may be looking for a trauma-informed, neurodiverse psychotherapist.

1 . What is neurodiversity? Judy Singer, a sociologist who has autism, started using the term "neurodiversity" in the late 1990s. It refers to the concept that certain developmental disorders are normal variations in the brain. And people who have these features also have certain strengths. Devon Price, the author of Unmasking Autism, creates a wider umbrella for neurodiversity to include many different types of mental health diagnosis that can create brain variations such as: ADHD, OCD, PTSD, and bipolar disorder. My version of neurodiversity, which presents mostly as Aspergers (the now-obsolete term for autism without intellectual disability), means I have deficits in how I socialize, verbalize, and connect with other humans.

2. How can I benefit? One of the hallmarks of autism in the brain is the connectivity differences. Which is to say:

“certain brain regions show high interconnectivity in autistics and comparatively reduced connectivity in neurotypicals, while other brain regions show lower connectivity in autistics and comparatively elevated connectivity in neurotypicals.” (Embrace Autism, connectivity)

Having a neurodiverse psychotherapist can benefit a person who is wanting someone to look at them, their problems or symptoms, in a different way. Having a neural adaptation that views the world through a difference lens can provide perspectives to help assist clients in a change in mindset and even behavior change.

3. Feedback can be tailored. Another hallmark of being on the autism spectrum is my ability to deliver honest feedback. The common problem with my unfiltered version of feedback, is it can come off as too blunt, too direct, or even hurtful. I have learned over the years, that if I have an insight or feedback for clients, to ask first if they want the feedback. As a client, I may even ask if you want feedback presented in a direct fashion, or in a more indirect way. As a rule of thumb, I am able to assess and provide this feedback quickly upon meeting most clients.

4. Relatability as a form of connection. The final realization I wanted to share in hiring a neurodiverse therapist, is that being able to relate is a part of how I connect. In reading various books and articles on autism, one of the ways I learn to connect is by finding common ground. Very often, this could be perceived as making someone else’s topic about me, or disclosing too much about myself as a therapist. If you are noticing that I am relating to you in a session, within appropriate boundaries, it is a way to let you know you are not alone. My goal in relating is to provide connection that is inclusive, and I continue to work on my relatability with all my clients.

If you are reading this, and are also neurodiverse, I would love to hear from you! The more our world is able to embrace all forms of neurodiversity, the more we are all able to be ourselves. I can provide general guidance and feedback for anyone who is looking for a more supportive experience, whether as a psychotherapy client, professional, or human in this world. Please email me or apply to become a client. I look forward to hearing from you!

Diffusion MRI of the human brain. (Image source: Human Connectome Project)

Integration Services: For Psychedelic Therapies and Beyond

In the past year, I have been in a nine-month training program for ketamine-assisted psychotherapy (KAP). I have previously written on the topic of psychedelic therapy here, and have been offering integration services for clients since early 2020.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with what integration therapy is, here is a brief description: when a person knows ahead of time they will be undergoing ketamine-assisted therapy (the only legal form of medicine-assisted therapy available), it is recommended they connect with a therapist to help prepare them for the sessions. These preparation sessions can help to process the goals of seeking KAP or other forms of plant medicine therapy. While I can help a client to set their intentions and plan for aftercare, I can not recommend clients seek to use illegal substances. Since I practice a harm-reduction model to substance abuse, clients are encouraged to discuss their plans while not expecting me to give direct feedback to use of illegal substances.

There are other indications for potential clients to utilize integration services. I have had several clients who either knowingly or unknowingly injested a psychedelic substance, and had a very challenging experience with ongoing symptoms long after the substance has exited their system. Integration services can help a client process these challenging experiences, much like in trauma therapy. Other instances where integration work can be helpful are: after any type of psychotic episode, prolonged depersonalization or derealization, or deep existential crisis.

Very often, KAP is done in a series of sessions for the most effective, symptom reducing treatment possible. It is recommended that clients have regular integration sessions after their KAP sessions in order to process and make sense of what they have experienced into their every day life. Clients often find these sessions to be very useful, especially when they experience great relief in symptoms, but don’t always remember what to work on. Most types of psychedelic sessions, if done well, provide an opening in a client’s life to make more significant, long-lasting changes in therapy they might have previously struggled to implement.

To demonstrate this point, behavior change is one of the hardest things to consistently implement for clients. After several of my plant medicine experiences, I received clarity in the areas where I wanted and needed to make changes. Most of these changes come in the way of lifestyle medicine, otherwise known as biohacking. The simplest example of implementing lifestyle medicine is with consistent nutrition and exercise that will support my ongoing healing process. One of my main areas of lifestyle medicine is using nature: the sun, water, ground, and fire sources to help balance my body and mind.

This morning I wasn’t feeling well. In order to aide in my bodies immune response, I drove to my nearby freshwater spring. I have made lifestyle changes to live in an area where I can access natural elements year round. Taking a morning plunge in the 68 degree water, swimming around, and then sunning off, was medicine for my body, mind and spirit.

If you are curious about ketamine-assisted therapy—which I don’t provide directly—integration services for previous or upcoming plant medicine journeys, or want to know more about working with me, please fill out my online application here, see my provider listing in psychedelic support here, and read more about my personal experience with plant medicine here. I wish you well in your journeys!

After a morning soak in the freshwater springs.

Coming Out: Inclusivity for LGBTQIA + Neurodiversity

It’s been almost two years since I have written for this blog. The pandemic has challenged me, both in positive and negative ways. During this time, I have done lots of self reflection, moved from Illinois to Georgia, and to Florida. My professional work continues to evolve as I evolve, and as such, it was time to publicly write down a few spaces and places where I am supporting myself and other humans.

As our world becomes more inclusive, it is important to express my own support and personal journey on the spectrum that is gender, sexuality, and neurodiversity.

• Being gender fluid: While I still identify as female (she/they), I consider my gender expression one that is fluid and depends on how I feel and how I show up for myself and others. While I often don’t subscribe to feminine expressions, there are times where putting on makeup and a dress makes me feel really good. There are also times where dressing in a neutral way feels most comfortable.

• Being pansexual: In exploring my sexual identity, I have currently landed on pansexual as it is loosely defined as a person who is attracted to the whole person, regardless of their gender identity. I often need to get to know a person for awhile before really being attracted to them, and as such, my attraction grows based on who they are holistically. Other terms I could use for this: demisexual or sapiosexual.

• Being autistic: In recent months, I went through neuro-psychological testing in order to get a better handle on some of my consistent struggles with socialization and sensory issues. In so doing, I discovered I am on the autism spectrum, needing minimum supports. I will continue to share my journey through the lens of autism, and how my version of neurodiversity has helped me in my professional career. I pick up on things many people overlook, and this attention to detail has served my clients well.

I am still working out my implicit biases based on my privileges due to my race, education, socioeconomic status, and ability to pass as a cisgender person. I hope as I continue to love the diverse parts of myself, I will continue to learn how to be a better therapist to my clients who are exploring any version of themselves in safe, supportive environment.

If you are reading this, and would like further support navigating your gender, sexuality, or neurodiversity, please don’t hesitate to contact me, my application for services is here.

Perla and I say, “hello!” from the Emerald Coast of Florida.