This weekend I am participating in my first 3-day silent retreat at the Prairie Zen Center located only a few miles from my home. During my time there, I will be meditating in the Zen Buddhist tradition, one of concentration, awareness and stillness.
During my meditation practice, I will often encounter different voices. I wanted to learn more about these voices, and ended up finding an answer in my trauma training. While working with clients who were processing trauma, many would get stuck and be unable to move forward. We both were aware that this was some kind of unconscious protection mechanism, but were unsure how to make it cooperate. I began to learn more about Ego State Therapy, which has its origins in both psychology and hypnosis.
In doing this work with clients for over five years, I have seen so much growth in my clients. The practice of knowing how to have these inner conversations involves a few steps:
In your regular quiet time, begin to create a safe space in your mind: This space can be imaginary or a place you’ve been before. Whatever you choose, let it be a place where you feel safe, calm and at ease. Begin to take in all your sensory awareness: What do you see? What do you hear? What can you touch or sense with your skin? Can you smell or taste anything? Take your time absorbing all that you want.
Create a meeting space: This meeting space can be a separate room or alcove within your safe space. This is a space that is designated for you and all your parts to come and communicate. Some clients choose to have a table which signifies a meeting, some have chosen to have an open circle for parts to sit on cushions.
Customize the space for each part: You may not know who these parts of yourself are yet, but many clients suspect they are parts that have served a purpose (protector, professor, wife, father), or hold particular memories or feelings (wounded child, rebellious teenager, part that was assaulted). As you become more familiar with all your parts, you can invite them to your space. Give them things that will enhance safety and comfort.
Begin to listen and pay attention: Once the invitation has been sent for your parts to come to the meeting space, many of my clients are surprised how the different voices now become more loud and apparent in their life. Many clients will see when their eating disorder part will come out, and have a greater awareness of what is triggering the behavior. Some may have more compassion for their behavior as they now see it as a part that needs attention and healing.
If this concept seems a bit strange, you might be right! Going inside ourselves can be a foreign and scary process if we don’t have a frame of reference. If you haven’t signed up for my meditation tracks, now is the time! I have added an “inner meeting space” meditation for you that details this practice above. It’s yours for free, just simple sign up for my free meditations! As always, if you’re wanting more guidance or a deep dive, you can apply to work with me here.