Acute and Chronic Stress during COVID-19: An Interview

Last week I had the wonderful opportunity to speak to Christa Rymal, founder of The Point Retreats in northern Minnesota. Christa’s background in nursing and healthcare administration immediately sprung into action with starting a “Facts and Feedback from Frontline Healthcare Professionals.”

My interview focuses on the signs and symptoms of acute and chronic stress during our global pandemic, along with discussing how we can help each other together through this unusual time. Please watch, listen, and share with your loved ones. Enjoy!

We asked Chronic Stress expert and Trauma|PTSD Therapist Amy Pico, for help understanding the unhealthy feelings popping up as we're social distancing, how t...

Quarantine Hacks: Giving

Last Friday, before our statewide “shelter in place,” I attended my own therapy session. Sitting in my car, a man approached my door. After instructing him to stay a few feet away from my window, I rolled it down and we began to chat. 💴

He asked for some money for some food. I gave him $5, and we began to talk about the virus. He gave me his theories, while telling me a story of when the power was out over several states and he and some friends drove down to where there was power and light. 💰

After I told him I had to go inside, he thanked me, and I wished him well. I would love to say that this is something I did before all of “this.” That would be a lie. My kindness had more limits before the virus. I’m noticing now that it’s expanding to encompass the needs presented before me. 💵

I am in a position of extreme privilege where I have an education and career that allows me to continue to make money during this global pandemic. Therefore, my last quarantine hack comes from a place where I have the capacity to give, where I know many are physically, financially, and emotionally tapped out. This is my disclaimer.

Quarantine Hack 5: Giving

Giving doesn’t have to be monetary. Many of my clients have huge hearts and have asked “What do I do about all the people in need?” Here’s a few ideas:

1. Looking for the natural opportunities: while donating is wonderful and worthwhile, it can sometimes feel impersonal. Looking for natural ways to give, like getting groceries delivered for a family member, or calling your elderly family who are more shut in.

2. Taking extra care: I’m enjoying the opportunity to mail things to others and including a nice handwritten note. Giving can simply be sending a card and writing an update about your life. I find this mode of communication so heartfelt. 

3. Time: how many of us have more time? How about giving some of ti to others? As we warm up for spring, who needs help with their yard? What can I give myself in way of quiet time or time just sitting under a tree?

Remember I still have CO-PAY FRIDAY in effect as a way to give back. 30-minute sessions for the price of a copay. Please email me or share with friends who you think are in need. Perhaps even gift someone a session? 

Quarantine Hacks: Laughter

Today was filled with meetings and client calls. I am feeling the collective tension of our joint isolation. I am also choosing to laugh.

Does this make you laugh? I hope so!!

Laughter is medicine, they say. Laughter heals, they say. And yet…I don’t remember having much of a sense of humor as a child. My younger sister was the clown of the family. My humor began to develop as a form of self-deprecation along with a hint of macabre. Definitely NSFW material as I’ve gotten older. 

Our sense of humor is great and diverse. Humor in the States is different than other countries. It is cultural, regional, and local. How can we use this universal emotion for our good during these times of uncertainty? 

1. Rely on familiar: What gives you a good belly laugh? What stand up comic gets you going every time? What meme account is your go-to for a good chuckle? Watch, visit, or listen to these sources regularly. 

2. Let yourself go all out: With so many of us in isolation, now is the time to let yourself laugh at the things that may make others cringe. With our senses being on high alert, being able to have freedom to laugh at our own humor style can be relieving and refreshing. 

3. Find the commonality in a laugh: I am learning to laugh at myself and the more universal ways we can connect. Watching my cousin’s baby feed himself yogurt? Funny and adorable. Seeing how my dog throws me her toy for fetch? Funny. Seeing myself trip on an imaginary bump on my floor? Priceless. 

When we use laughter as a healthy outlet, we can see the benefits of release. Laughing reduces tensions, massages our organs (ala Tiffany Haddish), and we can learn to reset from these moments of levity. Let’s all continue to laugh friends. We all need it, even in the midst of suffering, sadness, and confusion. 

Quarantine Hacks: Quality Connections

Me and my girlfriends having our “wine night” via Zoom last week :)

What have your connections been like with others since the virus/quarantine? If you’re like me, they have ranged from weird, amazing, uplifting, stressful, tense, and all over the place. We may not be able to control how our loved ones are responding, but we can focus on giving ourselves the best chance of feeling better when we do connect. The third quarantine hack is learning how to utilize and have the best quality connections. 

Quarantine Hack #3: Quality Connection

As a result of hiring a therapist turned business coach almost six years ago, I learned what it would take to transition my business to online coaching. During this time, I began to meet like-minded women who were also looking to live a different way.  I began to see what it was like to develop a “tribe” (I don’t particularly like this word, but it gets the point across). 

As the years passed, I attended retreats with some of these women. I took other online classes, and went on more retreats to connect with people all over the world who wanted their lives to be a natural way to generate heart-centered business. In meeting and making friends with so many people through this exploration, my connections span the globe. 

During this uncertain time, I see this momentum of connecting through online spaces gaining even further traction. In finding so many friends through online spaces of learning, here is what I have gained from the value of connection: 

1. Connections don’t have to be organic: Most of the people I would consider friends now, are ones I have met through an online program.  I still have friends in my town, but I value the diversity of my support as a result of moving in online spaces for like-minded connection. 

2. Connections don’t have to be frequent: Being a hard-core introvert, I don’t need constant contact with people to feel fulfilled. In fact, having connections in the online world means I can pick up a conversation with someone I haven’t talked to in years. I can also send a brief message to someone, knowing that we speak the same “language,” and don’t need to have a long conversation. 

3. Connections don’t have to be stressful:  The biggest lesson I have learned in developing connections through like-minded interests is this: the quality of the connection/conversation is much more important that the amount. Having just one quality connection on a regular basis is water to my soul.  If I do find myself in a stressful conversation, I can enact my ability to extend compassion or exert boundaries when needed.

How are you connecting or reconnecting with others? We are being asked to reach out in different ways, and I hope you are enjoying having FaceTime, Zoom, or phone conversations with old and new friends alike! Stay connected, friends. It is what will keep us sane and grounded. 

Quarantine Hacks: Compassion

My grandfather was widowed over three years ago, and in an effort to stay busy, he began going to the grocery store several times a week. This got him out of the house that carried so many family memories that often left him crushed by his own grief.

In light of COVID-19, Grandpa Ken has struggled to understand his own risk, and the precautions that have been suggested by the CDC. I was able to see him before our statewide quarantine, and talked with him more about family ancestry. Grandpa Ken loves to tell stories about his childhood working on a farm with his brothers and sister. His heart and mind are transported to a simpler time, and a joy spreads over him. 

During this visit, in which we were joined by my nurse cousin Nina, we made grandpa aware of the risks of exposure in places like his church or grocery store. Despite these explanations, he continues to go to the grocery store more than once per week. In this light, my second quarantine hack is:  

Quarantine Hack #2: Compassion over Judgment

This hack may seem like an impossible task for some and a welcome relief for others. With this hack of choosing to extend compassion to my grandpa rather than judgment, I am choosing to treat my grandpa as I would want to be treated. 

This does NOT mean I didn’t judge my grandpa! I certainly had a few moments where I had the thoughts many of you may have had these past few weeks: “Why won’t he listen? Why doesn’t he get it? Doesn’t he know he’s putting himself and others at risk?”

While national and regional mandates are in effect, we all know people continue to make their own choices over whether or not they put themselves or others at risk. So in choosing compassion, here are some benefits: 

1. I am able to take responsibility for myself: If I am faced with the decision of being exposed to someone who is putting themselves at risk, I am able to make decisions that protect myself and potentially others. I can guide my decisions based on what my comfort level is, rather than whether or not I know a person is “compliant.” 

2. I am able to see the humanity in our quarantine: This virus and quarantine is touching upon our basic human needs of trust, security, and mortality. Many of us may want to avoid these feelings and might find it easier to blame others for our natural anxiety during this time. In extending compassion to others, I am able to see that we are all acting out of these basic human needs. This means our decision making is more impaired and I am able to expend compassion to all humans faced with these fundamental issues. 

3. I am able to see “we are all in this together” in a new light: While I admire this message of quarantine as protection for all of us, there will still be people who won’t comply. Therefore, in the light of compassion, I am able to see that even those who may be judged for their actions (me? my grandpa? you?), are in need of compassion and grace. My Grandpa Ken needs my love and togetherness more than ever. With a compassionate heart, I am more readily able to give him love without judgment. 

Please let me know what you think, share, and stay safe and compassionate friends! 

Quarantine Hacks: Fresh Air

A brief (or long) three weeks ago, before COVID-19 sent us to our rooms, I spent the week in Atlanta dog sitting for my sister and brother-in-law. 

Angie and Mike live in the city, so I was taking daily walks with their dogs along with my dog who came along for the ride. I was uncertain how I would feel being in a large city for a week, but I was observant of myself and my body. 

By the time Friday rolled around, I was starting to feel a bit claustrophobic, being in close proximity to so many people. This was not a new sensation, but one I have honed over the years in knowing that my body and mind are connected, and give me helpful clues in how stressed I may be. 

Saturday I found a local forest preserve in the city, and went on a solo hike to be among the trees. Just being around water and trees allowed me to start breathing a bit deeper into my lungs. So now, in the midst of our (near) worldwide quarantine, I will be offering a few hacks that are taken from my own life hacks over the years. None of them will surprise you, but we may be noticing  the ways in which we do (or don’t) care for ourselves in a more glaring light.

Quarantine Hack #1: Get Fresh Air! 

I know many of you around the world are no longer allowed to even go outside. I hope you are able to at least crack a window, have a porch or patio, and can take a few breaths of fresh air several times a day. 

For those of us who are still able to take walks, I would encourage you to get out at least once a day. Preferably 2-3 times a day for at least 20 minutes each. This suggestion is one many healthcare professionals gave me years ago when I was getting my health back on track. Being a psychotherapist I am stuck in a building, sitting with clients hour after hour, many days per week. After I started implementing a few 20-minute walks a day, I began to notice a difference in my overall mood and mindset. 

1. It began to help me see the constancy of nature: even amidst our quarantine and global suffering, nature is still nature. She is changing into spring, and the birds and trees still respond to those changes. 

2. It opened me up creatively: as time went on, being out in nature has no longer been an optional activity. I noticed it opened me up to writing poetry again, and taking amateur photos on my walks. It is my muse and inspiration to create. 

3. It helps set my natural circadian rhythm: I started to focus on walking as close to sunrise and sunset when I could. Even walking at any time, I noticed I no longer rely on an alarm clock. I wake up and am tired for sleep around the same time each day. During a time when our routines are off, this is a great way to keep them similar. 

I hope this post has helped, please comment or send me questions as you have them. I will continue to post one quarantine hack until Friday.

**SPEAKING OF FRIDAYS**
In light of others who are losing their jobs, possibly healthcare coverage, and uncertainty during this time, I am offering “CO-PAY FRIDAY” as a way to give back. If you are uninsured, or don’t have coverage that I accept,  I am offering a handful of 30-minute coaching sessions each Friday for the cost of a copay (minimum $20; donation based). Please send me an email if interested to get on the list. Payment required before appointment is set.